There's This Feeling

My Kind of je ne sais quoi

Have you ever read that Desiderata poem? It's like that with some nostalgia and child-like joy mixed in. It's ambedo, I guess. Well, it's like that anyway.

I really get inspired by this type of feeling. Truly, I get inspired by all kinds of feelings but this feeling, or maybe multiple feelings felt at once, is what gets my creative juices flowing.

Oh, how I wish I could express that well, creatively.

This sketch I did of a lady balancing on her toes from an old vintage photo found on Pinterest, is that child-like joy feeling. Though the original is black and white, it looks like she was enjoying a warm sunny day on a beach. That feeling of warmth on the eyelids and the skin being simultaneously drying from being wet and warmed by the sun and cooled by a slight breeze. The being fully in the moment. Fully sensing and being aware of it all. Not exactly just happy though. Different. More. Deeper than that.

This is the feeling I also wish I could write poems of. If I knew of the right words, I'd use them. It's all in those adjectives and verbs.

The best I can do is similar to Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra. Shaka when the walls fell.

I happened upon another moment recently with the sunlight during a certain time of day. The light was so horizontal that my shadow was almost my same height. Right before the sky changed to it's rainbow color palette. It was like I felt at home. It isn't the location I was in. It was the lighting of the world I was in.

Boy, this feeling is hard to express. I guess that's why we say "je ne sais quoi" in the first place.

A warm sunset lighting the tips of overgrown grass. It feels like a long childhood summer night where the fireflies are about to come out and the air is feeling a littler cooler and damper as time goes on into night. I can't describe how this feeling feels, only that it happens in certain spots and in certain weather. It's like the feeling requires the physical sensations of these things to even be felt.

I feel like the way I end up capturing these feelings in art is all so tired and done before. I can only try to keep using my creative juices to find a way to express this that is truly my own. This multi-feeling feeling of life and time and space.

What an easy thing that will ever be (/sarcasm).

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